Basking in the Baby-ness

After a battle with a MEGA COLD and intense weekend of working the Oprah event yesterday, I was eager to get the munchkin to bed so I could clean out my bag, wash my face, cross some "T's" and dot all the "I's" before my Monday rises with the sun in a handful of hours. Instead, I found myself unable to put Wolfie down in his crib.  Eric and my wonderful mother and father in law were still at Scott and Christine's celebrating Scott's birthday so the house was to myself. 

It was essential to me that Wolfie go to sleep without a hitch tonight so I thought I'd make sure he was REALLY asleep before putting him in his crib.  Keeping babe in arm, I tip-toed and clicked every single light off in the house. I opened the slider to let the cool October air in, poured a glass of wine, and made my way to the big brown easy chair.  With his soft music that I play for him every night, I just drank in all his little breaths and sounds.  I could tell he was drifting into the land of nod, deeper, and deeper, as his little body became heavier and heavier. I rocked back and fourth and just let him sleep in my arms, cuddled up in a blanket.  He even sleep-laughed a couple times.

I sat there, in the dark, in the quiet, and just let my mind drift along and rock-a-byed the baby.  I was basking in his baby-ness and little did he know, he was giving me something even more relaxing that a glass of wine or the tight sheets of a freshly made bed. He was giving me tranquility, peace, and balance.

I write this especially because when I look back on my time when he was a baby, and read these journal entries, I want to remind my future self and reassure myself that I truly cherish every little second with my bundle of joy.  As often as I can, i try to just BE in the moment and relish his juicy infancy and all the healing effects a baby can bring. As I write this, the lights are still off, my wine has been sipped, and I can go to bed knowing that THAT moment, was my 'reset' button because my heart was as open and for the first time in what feels like weeks I sat. . . just sat. With a million and one things to do, and not doing a damn one of them. I learned a effective mantra yesterday at the Oprah event. . . . to learn to say "I'm done.".  Well goodnight. ... I'm done. :)