In the classic story Peter Pan, we first meet Peter while he is frantically looking for his lost shadow. He finds his shadow stuffed in a drawer, but he can’t get it to stick to him much to his dismay. Wendy wakes up to see Peter Pan’s dilemma and takes out a needle and thread and sews Peter Pan and his shadow back together. Once he's restored, the children fly out the window following Peter Pan to Never Never Land.
I decided this week that "enough is enough" and I went on a good jog after a long sabbatical to re-adjust to going back to work. While jogging, the sun was setting and cast my shadow across the big hot asphalt road. I imagined that I felt how Peter Pan felt when he got his back. I was struck by it, and a strange sense of clarity and inspiration came across my heart (a feeling that has been flooding over me ever since finishing The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand). I identified two main reasons why my post-work exercise routine was as inspiring as throwing a cat in water.
Two main priorities in my life seemingly made it impossible:
1. Wanting to spend every ounce, every waking minute I have with Wolfie before he goes to bed.
2. The importance that I place on having a home-cooked meal on the table for Eric and I.
I always felt like putting Wolfie in the jogging stroller couldn't count as personal time with him because we were so detached. He was facing outwards, and I was pre-occupied with myself, and my own endurance. So to counter that feeling, I decided that I must remind myself that this jog is GOOD for him. He gets the fresh air and above all, he KNOWS his mommy is right there behind him that's what counts. I also just have to simply incorporate him in my routine, and 'play' while I work. I would peek in and tickle him, run around the stroller and play peek-a-boo. On an early day I can jog him down to the beach, throw out a blanket for ten minutes and have quality time with him that way. Or, if I do this . . . it is still quality time with him. Quality time doesn't need to involve ten million kisses and a book sitting on my lap. It comes in a variety of forms, every which one just as important to his development.
Dinners are simple in theory. If I want to increase my work-out routines, I'm going to have to pre-make some dinners or buy dinners that are VERY easy to make (I've discovered Fresh and Easy Markets which are exactly as they promise--fresh AND easy.) Some of my pals encourage me to take the pressure off and NOT strive for home cooking on the table for my man but that just isn't natural to me. If I was living alone I could absolutely live off of Lean Cuisines and Cereal, and probably would. I devote my cooking to the love of my life, Eric. Not because of some submissive fear or neediness, but my genuine desire to make him happy and the deep rooted instinct to feed and nourish the ones around me by my own hand. After all, as said by Peter Pan himself, “One girl is worth more use than 20 boys" (J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan). I need to pre-cook meals on Sundays, prep more the night before, choose meals that don't require so many dishes. I can do this!
Peter Pan has his shadow back.
Well said!
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